Hit the Lights!
Well… I’ve said it before, and I’m certain I will say it again, but Guitar Hero officially jumped the shark when they announced this turd a few months back. Followed quickly by a trailer for another ridiculous cash-cow, the franchise was basically dead to me. Until today…
Guitar Hero: Metallica coming before Q1 2009
Fuck yeah!
Only problem I foresee at this point, is that the difficultly margin will look something like this:
In addition, I’m demanding the following challenges, features and mini-games:
- The Dave Mustaine Six-Pack Slam: Party Fuckin’ Hard! Be sure to slam those brews… if you can’t chug 6 in 3 minutes or less, it’s your ass and a bus ticket back to Cali.
- “…And Justice For All” Bass Tracks: So you’ve nailed the solo for “One” using only one-hand tapping? On Expert? Awesome! Now let’s see how how good your memory is, as you attempt to recall those sweet Newsted bass fills using absolutely no audio whatsoever.
- The Bob-Rock-Creative-Cock-Block: Got a sweet riff in mind? Too Bad!!! Race Bob Rock to the mixing console to see who gets the chance to “fix it in the mix.”
- The “Fresh Approach” Tactic: Running to low on funds? It’s time to freshen your image! Nothing a trip to the barber and a less-threatening logo can’t fix! Lollapalooza here we come!
- Napsterama!: Hit the Red button as fast as you can in an attempt to make legal mumbo-jumbo continue to spew from Lars’ mouth. Hey kid… stop all the downloadin’!
- The Crying Game: Aww… Lars and James are fighting AGAIN… time to bring in the band shrink. –$40,000.
- TOO HEAVY!: Get back to your roots! Mash the buttons even harder for some sweet Frantic-Tic-Tic-Toc. Don’t worry about sore fingers… play it right once and you can just loop that shit!
